Rest in peace Antonio.
Born on 15 February - thanks for producing such a wonderful friend.
Official Statistics:
Papa Gino's - 21:06
Official Start - 21:51
Official Finish - 23:13
Blue Oyster Bar - 23:38
Ice Creams:
ShinyShiny - Soya Hazelnut 5.5 out of 10
Halfeman - Ferrero 7.8 out of 10
Boundaries:
Bourke Street, Queen Street, Collins Street, William Street.
First up, some attempt at describing our conversation:
Given newfound responsibilities, there was much to catch up on.
- There is a Russian TV programme called "Ask Me a Question", where watchers are invited to ask the dapper host any range of obscure questions. In one episode viewed by ShinyShiny, the following question was posed:
"I've heard there is a monastery for tigers, is this true?"
Host:
"A monastery ... for tigers..."
Conjuring images of large cats purring like Gregorian monks or in transcendental mediation, eager to reach some form of spiritual enlightenment, the subtle response to this question mocks the author, but is deceptive in its complexity. It had me smiling most of the night and is a worthy addition to the long list of titles that make up this blog. By the way, Wat Pha Luang Ta Bua, is not so much as a monastery for tigers, but is a monastery where unconventional conservation strategies result in more tiger cubs being born than most zoos can manage through their IVF programmes. The low zoo fertility rate might have something to do with how hard it is for a male tiger to cum into a cup, the excessive use of tiger 'dp' videos or the lack of fine coffee on offer.
- During a visit to the vet, a question was posed of ShinyShiny as to whether he wanted a feline AIDS vaccine administered? 'Tabby' does make some fine choices, including Fucking Ada and Piano Piano, but ShinyShiny didn't think that Tabby was so promiscuous as to warrant vaccination. The fact that lifestyle changes, such as cutting down on illegal party drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or using condoms were not recommended, meant that ShinyShiny was not fussed about the idea.
- Hell's Kitchen is ever a topic of conversation, and it appears to be getting more hellish by the day. A once-proud turnaround time of 48 hours is now up to 2 months in some cases. The clients deserve so much better than this.
- After a long break between adventures, interspersed with a life-changing arrival, things didn't go quite to plan. The office had no milk for coffee. We mucked up the order at Papa Gino's - the things we have ordered dozens of times somehow got confused. Luckily the waitress advised against ordering the banquet for 20, and we settled on our usual small garlic focaccia, medium 'Super Special', and medium Capricciosa with extra mushrooms.
- Sorry Day:
Halfeman made his way to Federation Square on February 13 with a few thousand other Melburnians to tune into the Australian Government Apology to the Stolen Generations. It was quite emotional, but still disappointing to see a crowd that was less than half the number of people who turned up to see Australia beat Japan in the last World Cup. Australia certainly does have its priorities in strange places.
- We lamented the decline in the routine sophisticated use of the English language. Before television (and before satellite television that now allows the diaspora of war-ravaged Europe to tune into more channels from their homelands than they would now get 'free to air' from their current locations), and before the Internet and e-mail, there was the craft of letter-writing and the art of expression. For ShinyShiny, this was embodied in Deeming's affectionate letter to his murdered wife's mother. For Halfeman, the rich and lyrical dialogue in Deadwood serves as a reminder of how smart and how dumb we've become.
- 64 Littlewood Street Hampton:
The house of a friend, where teenage boys once made bombs, recently sold for $1.46 million. Bring on the crash!
- Homo Erectus:
Amusingly, this is the title of a gay magazine. Someone has beaten ShinyShiny to it.
- Ahmed walked out of ShinyShiny's with a computer and in the process, resolved an obsession of converting VHS and Video 8 movies to DVD. This did however, come at a cost, and not just financial. The possum poo, inadvertently ground into the carpet, took some cleaning.
- Spooky Tooth: The band referred to by Crème Brûlée in that classic of English comedies, The League of Gentlemen, is actually a real band, still at it today, and could be touring near you anytime soon.
- We agreed that calling girls "mate" is a bit hard to swallow. Gentlemen should treat the opposite sex with far more dignity and respect. To do otherwise, reveals the character of the man.
- There were 2 murders by Maglite in 2008.
- It seems we are making an impact - we've both recently been to establishments were no Coke is served, only Pepsi. Hallelujah!
Whilst talking about all that, we managed to walk a few streets:
It was a Friday night, and it was all on in the big city. The 'Tivoli Arcade Breakdancin' Crew' (not their official competition name) were up to their old poppin' and lockin' tricks. There was plenty of 'mutton dressed as lamb' and big queues in front of all of the shitty clubs. The weather was balmy and we both struggled walking up and down the minor hills we encountered.
Points of interest included:
* Step by Step (boarded up) Kathy Alpa Allman.
* A sculpture on the corner of Bourke and William Streets has been forgotten, and they no longer bother to turn on the lights at night to illuminate it.
* Legal Court Apartments, formerly the legal chambers for Temple and Stapley, is pretty impressive. Here are links to some pics - here and here.
* There were shitty clubs everywhere, including The Australian Club (for the elite and establishment), CQ (for players and mutton - it is a death and fire-trap, and the worst offender), Marrakech and many more.
* For some strange reason, I have in my notes something about the Bristol Hotel, Belgrade being the same building as the Marrakech (club). I can't, for the life of me, recollect what this connection is, but I'll document it for posterity anyway.
* Whilst on the topic of Bank Place - we observed a bamboo firetrap for smokers. A tiny space filled to the brim, like cattle to the slaughter. We heard the Marrakech proprietor say "They can all fucking burn!" when we opened discussions, after he was concerned about what two unfashionably-dressed middle-aged men with torches and clip-boards were doing in the vicinity of his establishment.
* Collins Street really does have the most remarkable architecture. With so much on offer, it's hard to pick a favourite.
* William Street isn't that far behind, particularly Scottish House and Queensland Building. The following pic is a close-up.
* The Victoria Club, which has since closed and is now the Turf Club, was the site of the infamous Great Bookie Robbery.
* Mitre Tavern in Bank Place - one of the city's oldest buildings. Here is a pic.
* RACV Club - it's brand-spanking new glass and steel monument to the car was defaced with an ambulance sticker, and an 'RACV' sticker was observed next door.
* The Bank of Australasia is quite the building. It was opened in 1838 and is on the corner of Queen and Collins Streets. It is now a hotel.
* Atlas (see the picture below) - one of my favourite alcoves in the entire city. This picture was taken by Wolfgang Sievers. The following one is by ShinyShiny.
* Here is a general streetscape shot of Little Collins Street.
* At some point, we made our way through Gurners Lane. Although the lane was named after Henry Gurner, I think the horse is more famous that he ever was.
* Lastly - thanks to Fred Hollows for giving us an extra laugh on the way to the ''Blue Oyster Bar''. Some see this as a poignant fund-raising poster highlighting this remarkable man's work to eradicate preventable blindness in developing countries. We see children confused as to why this large white man keeps poking them in the eyes.
0 comments:
Post a Comment